When Girls Talk Books
Are you ready for story time? When Girls Talks Books is a podcast with two best friends bonding between the pages. They give comprehensive reviews of books where even if you haven't read the book, you can still enjoy the story. Brace yourselves for a tornado of laughter and literary love! When Girls Talk Books is here.
When Girls Talk Books
Ep.4 The Royals Next Door By Karina Halle
Have you ever wondered what happens when royalty moves in next door? Welcome to episode four of "When Girls Talk Books," where we dish out all the hilarious and heartwarming chaos brought to life in Karina Halle's "The Royals Next Door." Prepare for a whirlwind of small-town charm, unexpected royal encounters, and laugh-out-loud moments that make this book the perfect remedy for our post-emotional book hangover. With humor, insight, and a touch of romance, this episode is one you won't want to miss!
Editing done by Connor Luther @clfilms.co
Music by @thundercatlouis
MERCH SHOP HERE
Hi everybody and welcome to another episode when girls talk books. This is episode four. Now we did it this month. We are going to be going over the Royals Next Door by Karina Halle.
Speaker 2:How many times did it take us to get that right Thrice.
Speaker 1:Thrice Okay summary. So this book is like witty, sweet, a little bit spicy. This is definitely a romantic comedy and the lead character to meet, like Piper Evans, is her name. This book is based in Canada and it's on an island, so that threw me off, though, because at the beginning of the book I was thinking classic island, like palm trees and warm. And then I'm like wait, Not Pacific. Northwest, but then I liked it even more because we live in the Pacific Northwest.
Speaker 2:So it was kind of fun for that. Yeah, I pictured it. What is that island off of Washington? You know? I sent you the reels of it. Did you watch them? There's a little like ferry. You can take Orcas Island. No, I think it starts with a W Bye plant.
Speaker 1:I don't like the plants moving again. We'll circle back, moving on, moving on. Like the plant's moving again. We'll circle back, moving on, moving on. Between the two of us. Today we have one brain cell. I'll borrow it again. Okay, now I've got the brain cell. Okay, so this book is about a young woman, piper, who is kind of living like and this plant is going yeah, yes, with the island.
Speaker 2:Just shove it behind the chair. I can't cry already because I'm laughing. It's going to happen and it's going to be a cut, and you're just sobbing what happened behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad we finally feel like being ourselves in episode four.
Speaker 2:You're wondering what our Tuesday nights look like.
Speaker 1:Okay, I also Back to Piper, not from. Orange is the New Black.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Can you imagine? Okay, I mean I kind of can't, but this character wasn't like sorry for themselves, enough all the time.
Speaker 1:Yep, this one.
Speaker 2:I never checked how old she is I have not a clue my brain decided she was like 25, 26 I've pictured her like a little bit like late 20s would be my image of her, because she's got, like she has a degree of some sort, she's a teacher, she's taking care of her mom, so I feel like she's mature enough, that's true. Like not early 20s, true? You know, that's kind of what I always thought.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're kind of on the same page about that. Yeah, gotcha, she has kind of what it sets up to be, kind of a reclusive life, kind of mundane, and then her new neighbors kind of stir everything up and that's the royals.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine just chilling on a little island in a small town and the duke and duchess are like we're your neighbors.
Speaker 2:Now imagine oh nice, I'm moving. So there's that. This was like an excellent palate cleanser. So if you guys watched our last episode, it was pretty heavy and like emotionally, for both of us it was a lot and even like in the studio, the vibe was really heavy and so once we finished it, we're and we need something that's fun, easy palette cleanser. This is exactly what that was like. I don't think we could have honestly chose a better book. No, and we had a hard time because we tend to lean towards something that's a little bit more emotional or scary or thriller, and I had to be like palate cleanser. We have to do something happy, you know.
Speaker 1:As you had texted. Jesus Susie light reads yeah, lighten, lighten. I wasn't getting the memo, so she sent me this crime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like what?
Speaker 1:about this other really depressing story and she's like how about fiction?
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, literally, or like super heartbreaking. I'm like, how about? I'm like, here are your options, pick one happy, happier, happiest. So this was really good, for I thought it had a lot of humor oh my, I laughed a lot literally like full, like like that was really good, um, and just easygoing, couldn't. I don't think it could have been an easier true book. Honestly, I thought it was great. Yep, um, what was your star rating?
Speaker 1:five. I would give it 10 out of 10, 12 out of 10, if I could like this book. It was so good.
Speaker 2:I was thinking about it last night about 11 30 at bed. Um, I don't know how to tell you this because I knew you were going to rate it 5 stars just based off of what you were sending me in Snapchat. So like, uh, oh, you're a romance girly. I really am. I hate to break it to you. Denial is a river in.
Speaker 1:Egypt and I'd be swimming for 28 years, so I finally got out on the bank it's not too bad.
Speaker 2:Susie's going to rate this five stars and I'm going to have to be the one to break it to her. She's a romance girly.
Speaker 1:How many times in my life have you had to be the one to break? So there's this really obvious thing that you keep choosing to ignore. So I'm just going to tell you.
Speaker 2:So here's the thing, that guy Knock it, get the fuck out of here, break up with your boyfriend. I thought it was good. I read a ton of romance. True, I'm a romance girly to my core. I'm just a girl. I like to read my romance. I will hear no bad talk about it. I rated it three stars. I know the way she's building this up. Is she going to give me a one?
Speaker 1:star and I will hear no bad talk about it. I rated it three stars. Okay, I know I was like the way she's building this up, is she?
Speaker 2:going to give me like a one star and be like I actually didn't finish the book because I hated it Like. I'm so done. No, I enjoyed it for sure. I really liked it. I thought it was funny. I had a good time reading it. It's not something I'm going to Wow.
Speaker 1:So I read this in how could you forget?
Speaker 2:Harrison. Well, I read a lot of romance, so I read this in one day.
Speaker 1:You're like honey, this is the first romance you really like. This is a canon event for you. This is just the beginning.
Speaker 2:This is like your second romance of your life. No, you can't. I read it in one day and it was towards the beginning of the month and I couldn't really remember anything that had happened, so I had to refresh.
Speaker 1:Dang.
Speaker 2:So Good, not great. It's not a bad story and I think for its purpose it was great. Easy, light, fun read.
Speaker 1:Gotcha.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say a memorable read. So that was my reasoning. That's still fair.
Speaker 1:That's completely fair Behind my five stars.
Speaker 2:That's all right, or that?
Speaker 1:was my reasoning. That's still fair. That's completely fair, behind my five stars, that's all right, or not?
Speaker 2:my five stars, my three stars, just kidding Plot twist, so let's get into it.
Speaker 1:First things first.
Speaker 2:First things first. Piper's at school. She's a school teacher which second grade, I think it is and a kid throws up in her purse. I thought one of the most unrealistic parts of this whole story yeah, which, keep in mind, this is about a royal family moving in next door was she said she was gonna go get in a new ID that day at the DMV, like after work.
Speaker 1:My thing is, why not just put on a glove and rinse it off? Because, like an ID, is plastic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, also, it's just puke. You work with kids. Have you been to DMV ever in your life? You're going to go after work.
Speaker 1:You're out of your mind this is like a planned thing, but she's in Canada. Maybe they've got their shit together up there. That's true Fact. Yes, any Canadian viewers Drop in the comments, let us know.
Speaker 2:Because the US is not. You don't go in after work to get a new ID.
Speaker 1:No, you use one of your PTO days that you barely get any. You show up at dawn and the whole county's already beat you there and then you're there for like three hours for ten seconds of having someone tell you how stupid you are.
Speaker 2:And you didn't bring your third grade report card so they can't do it. Facts you bring your social security card, you have your birth certificate, you have to have a piece of mail with you, you have to have like your mom's signature more than like just silly. Anyway, I thought that was so funny and I was like, yeah, we're going to go get our new driver's license. So that's how her day starts. And then her coworker is like might not be a good day, the town is really busy. And she's like what's going on? And she essentially says the royals are coming to town, so everybody's all in a fussy. So she's like, okay, she's just gonna go home and do it a different day. So she goes and uh, there's some guy who's blocking the street?
Speaker 2:and scowling with his sunglasses on.
Speaker 1:We can't even try to scowl right now if we tried even my rbf has left the room. It's like yeah.
Speaker 2:And he's like blocking the road and she's like what? And he's like you got to turn around. She's like I'm not turning around. I live right here. And he's like you have to turn around. She's like I'm not turning around.
Speaker 1:I live right here Like you're out of your mind. First of all, you're out of your jurisdiction and, second of all, take your sunglasses off when you're talking to me.
Speaker 2:First of all, who do you think you are?
Speaker 1:to tell me.
Speaker 2:I have to turn around. Can you imagine me? Who do you? Huh, because think I don't know if you know this.
Speaker 1:I'm a man-hater at my court, so I'm going gonna need you to get in your little vehicle and out of here I will sick my amazon friend right out of this car.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we got another one um, and so he asked for her driver's license to prove that she actually does live there.
Speaker 1:So now he's acting like a cop. License, registration and proof of insurance, please yeah, but I feel like if they, if they made this book a movie, they would have had her like crank rolling down her window while secret agent.
Speaker 2:Man is playing on the stereo because she, uh, she calls her car uh garbage pail garbage pail and it's uh, oscar the Grouch or the Grinch. Oh right, You're like, help me, I'm like green fuzzy, come on. And she doesn't have her license because a kid threw up and she just threw her purse away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, threw away everything, all her cars, everything, yeah.
Speaker 2:And she's like, well, I don't have it. And then the police chief ends up pulling up and he's like, oh hey, piper, how's it going? And she's like, well, this guy let me go douche, canoe here literally, and he's like oh okay, you know it's fine, you can let her through. Yeah, and he's like well, I'm gonna have to escort you to your house to make sure you really do live there.
Speaker 2:That's my harrison voice his name is harrison cole um, and she's like fine, get in so he like gets in the garbage pail and he's gonna like slam his seat back and then pictured mr incredible sitting in the car.
Speaker 1:She's nicer than me. I literally would have made him like sit on the hood and like I'll go slow, hop on. I would have just made him walk you're not getting in my car.
Speaker 2:I don't know you. You could be a serial killer. For all I know you're just some dude asking for id, like true, where's your badge? Huh, I don't know you at all. Guess what? Also, the police chief is coming with me because I don't trust you, you're gonna murder to murder me along the way.
Speaker 2:There you go, so she lets him in the car and they go to the house and you kind of start to kind of get a little bit about her scenario. And she's taking care of her mom and they live in a cottage that's like next to this mansion, but the property was separated and so they ended up purchasing it and her mom has dependent personality disorder and also borderline personality disorder. So her dad left them when she was younger and so she's always just kind of taking care of her mom and so she's really worried about her mom taking all this. Just in general, she has to be very careful with what is happening around her and I think at this point she knows that the royal family is looking to the house next door and she doesn't really want her mom to know.
Speaker 1:And so they get to the house and the mom like opens the door and she's like of course, today you're gonna come straight to the door and be ready, and like, yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:She puts her arm through his arm and is like, oh hey, this is the new neighbor. And she's like, okay, yeah. And she's like, yep, okay, bye. So that happens, they go in. And then she starts thinking about, uh, who it is, is prince edward or eddie and mred or Monica? Who Monica is a?
Speaker 1:singer Former singer yep.
Speaker 2:Singer. And this is totally Prince Harry Meghan Markle coding Thank you Like immediately.
Speaker 1:That's what I was thinking too when I was reading this book.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, so so this is Prince Harry, yeah, and she is very harassed by the press. She's a black woman Like all these characteristics, they came to Canada to escape Copy and paste. Here's the thing we all knew when all this went down Like they're very much in love this book come out yeah, they're very much in love and have this like yeah, they're very much in love and have this like incredible relationship and just want to be private and and, and, and and. I was like, hmm, okay, I'll let it go.
Speaker 1:Anyone disagrees with me. You're going to look at me and tell me that I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:Literally, literally, that night she's kind of like thinking about the possibility of them moving in and then also like the relationship that they have and she's kind of I don't want to say a fan, but she is updated, I guess you can say and is very much like loves their relationship. So she has her own podcast, which was so cool, it was so cute oh, look, it's us. She has a romance podcast, book podcast, typically, but she starts talking and doing an episode about Eddie and Monica that night, that's true, which I thought was pretty cool. The next day he shows up because she has to sign a, an NDA, basically, and her mom does also, but she doesn't really want to tell her mom yet that this is happening. And so Harrison shows up and he says they want to meet you and she's like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:And he's like Eddie and Monica, your new neighbors.
Speaker 2:Eddie and Monica want to meet you, and so she goes, and they're very nice, very chill, very. They're very nice, very chill, very chill, very nice Sorry.
Speaker 1:It's okay, I'm choking on back myself. I'm like, don't clear your throat and sniffle the whole episode again, like I took my Zyrtec this time.
Speaker 2:I just have a sick child. But they're very just, kind of want that privacy. They just are kind of there to they need a moment they need a break.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like a publicity break too, because the way the book set it up, like you know, they'd just gone through the wedding and because all of us know what the british press does to them normally, that essentially that's what the book was kind of going with, that they needed a break from them. Yeah, because I guess our paparazzis aren't as bad, so, but can you imagine to think that ours apparently aren't as bad?
Speaker 2:I think there's a lot of uh politics that go along with the press there, which it does here too, but I think not nearly as specifically with the royal family, where ours is just like all politicians are celebrities and, but so she meets them. They're very kind. Monica is immediately kind of described as just this magnetic woman and they're so in love and and and and so they're great, but they're not the main point of the book, which I kind of thought that they were relieved that they didn't end up being the whole thing.
Speaker 1:So I was like so anyway, can we get back to moody moodyerson here? Maybe, with the sunglasses.
Speaker 2:Also, monica shows up at the house the next day and meets Piper's mom, and she's also very kind. Everyone in the book is very gentle when it comes to Piper's mom which is really great without even actually knowing anything about her. But her mom is very like, very excited about this happening, which she was not anticipating at all. But she was like oh, come in, let me show you the place.
Speaker 1:It's like what I picture from us when we were watching Disney animated movies, when the royals would come there and everyone's just losing their minds.
Speaker 2:You're like oh my God, yep, literally, oh, except Taylorlor, swift, just like stopped by our house would be like I think I would just pass out honestly, like if we're gonna be so, for real, I'm passing out I would just like non-stop cry and go mute, be like this.
Speaker 2:I can't be anymore and cool right now, and I'm sorry I can't even pretend to have chill, but so she's also very kind to piper's mom, very easy going. This whole introduction thing went a lot better than piper had anticipated, which is great. And then of course, harrison is always kind of tagging along. He is their bodyguard or protection ppo, ppo, whatever. I forgot what that means personal protection officer yep that, and so he's always around.
Speaker 1:He's always bitter and just like yeah always just like douche vibe big time, big time, which is no wonder I liked him so much at some point she does.
Speaker 2:Uh tell him he looks like a douche, which is pretty funny. There's a moment I didn't write down what page it was I might have, because I'm a freak about page numbers oh, we know, sue. She says something about like don't put me in a box when you don't know anything about me, type of thing oh, I know, I do remember that part.
Speaker 1:Of course I don't remember that page, but oh, page 64.
Speaker 2:look at you go. I had it marked.
Speaker 1:I have it marked in green now, ah, so don't try to put me into a box because I don't fit in one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then he kind of says don't put me in a box either, and so it's kind of like fair enough because she very much thinks, you know kind of 2D of him at the moment of you know, you're just some guy who's hoity Hoity-toity Mr. Royal, who's got a nice butt. Yeah, don't get your petticoats in a bunch. And then they're invited to dinner. Piper and her mom, with Eddie and Monica.
Speaker 1:Which isn't just you know. Come see my new neighbors. It's the Duke and Duchess. The Duke and Duchess and the mom's like oh she gets very excited Me, and the mom's like oh, she gets very excited Me too, mom, I'd be freaking out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she gets very excited and this is like the first kind of moment you see Piper and Harrison like kind of connect in a not sarcastic you know, pitter patter way Not bantering. Yeah, and she brings him cake. That's really the thing. The mom made a cake. Yes, the cake part, they bring him cake. That's really the thing. The mom made a cake. Yes, the cake part, they bring a cake. You sent me this in your Snapchat.
Speaker 2:I was going to say, I literally just said she brought him cake, it's happening, and this is when we knew Susie was going to rate it five stars. She brings him cake and because Monica says he has a sweet tooth, or Eddie, yes, One of them says he has a sweet tooth, or Eddie.
Speaker 2:Yes, one of them says he has a sweet tooth, so she takes him out some cake and there's a cute, cute moment. Let me see where's my pink tabs. Oh, no, no, no. Oh yeah, I guess we did. Okay, so they're invited to dinner, but then he needs to go to the store to get things.
Speaker 1:The Costco trip.
Speaker 2:No, this is just the regular store, and so she goes to walk the dog and there's just paparazzi everywhere.
Speaker 1:So she can't get through. Poor Liza. The dog's name is Liza. Yeah, and like sounds like such a sweet dog.
Speaker 2:Just stressed, though, like there's paparazzi everywhere. And so then the SUV pulls up and it's Harrison and he's like get in. Da-da-da tv pulls up and it's harrison and he's like get in, and the whole thing is she or he's going grocery shopping for the dinner that night, and so he's like I don't really know where to go. And she's like well, let me show you the best places to go. They do all the shopping and then they go to the coffee shop and they have these donuts that she's very excited about, yes, and he's like, uh, let me buy you coffee. And she says, but I'm gonna buy you a donut then. So it's like this let me buy you coffee.
Speaker 1:And she says, but I'm going to buy you a donut then. So it's like this Then they're even, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2:And then what you find out is her ex-fiance is there, who she called off the wedding, and he's trying to get her attention. And Harrison's like I think this guy knows you, can you imagine you're?
Speaker 1:and harrison's like I think this guy knows you. You imagine you're the way I would, literally just until he walked away like no, nope nope, nope.
Speaker 2:So he's like I think this guy's trying to get your attention and this guy just oozes like sleaze to me and now more to my argument that, yes, your husband is a unicorn, but j named men.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, his name's joey, it's another. J sound that just so happens to be a douche again. I'm like, damn, justin, you're a unicorn, like good job. So anyway, back to the story. I just wanted to, to, like I said in another episode, I got crucified for it.
Speaker 2:I would just like to clarify. The stats are standing okay. But he's like hey, how's it going? Da-da-da, overly nice. Kind of sleazy Harrison can tell that Piper is uncomfortable. So he's like right behind her and he's like are you going to come see my show? Da-da-da-da-da, her. And um, he's like are you gonna come see my show? So he's in a band. Of course he is another one in a band. Yep, and he also owns like the one bar in town or like his family does yeah, yeah, he's kind of one of those like do you know who my family is?
Speaker 1:and it's like y'all live in a koi pond. It's not, this is big fish, small pond. Situation. Like you don't actually? But yeah, anyway, but of course, yeah, of course he is.
Speaker 2:She's like yeah, I don't know. And then the coffee lady. I think her name's amy the barista. Yeah, she is just the worst, she's a peach, yeah I've worked with baristas like her.
Speaker 2:She's just kind of in everybody's business. She's not very nice, um, and she says to her I mean, just because you left him at the altar like that and ran away, doesn't mean you'll continue to run away from all your problems. So she kind of like openly, is like oh well, does this guy know about this? And kind of spills all her business, which is just ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Relatable. I was heavily triggered in this scene. I was like okay, all right.
Speaker 2:Then Harrison said is this how business on the island is usually run? With a side of gossip, and it like get her, shuts her up big time. And then he's like, shouldn't you be taking her order? Yes, yes, we love it, dear diary, we are in love Again, again. And I was like, yeah, get her, because he's very intimidating. He's obviously, you know, huge more than likely.
Speaker 2:I can only imagine how flabbergasted Amy was Like oh yeah, and he's very attractive and it's kind of known and I think, which we don't really know, but I think amy was trying to be like mean girl.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, she already assumed she was hotter and piper doesn't matter. And yeah, everyone is convinced piper on the island that she's worthless, not good enough, not smart enough, who cares? Yeah?
Speaker 2:and uh. So then they order, and then he they're like walking out to the car and he's like did you want to talk about that? And he's like did you want to talk about that? And she's like what, or something. He's like you know what just happened in there?
Speaker 1:And of course she's a little bit like no, because I mean, yes, you were nice, but that's the first time you've been nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also I don't really feel like talking about why I called off my wedding with you Like I don't actually know. Yes, which is fair for sure. So then they go to the dinner and she brings him the cake. After dinner, the mom made a cake.
Speaker 1:And the reason why she brought him the cake is because he was outside like on watch duty on the dock and when she first walked in she was a little bummed out Like oh yeah, he's not here, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then they mention that he has a sweet tooth and so she's like well, I could you know it'd be rude not to bring him a piece of cake Like perfect I have an excuse.
Speaker 1:finally, yeah. She was really hoping she could take him his sunglasses, but of course he didn't forget those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's always got these stupid sunglasses on.
Speaker 1:That made him die, with his aviators on.
Speaker 2:I totally picture it.
Speaker 1:You imagine, it's actually just no, especially not Oakley's no or it's the real big ones.
Speaker 2:No, no, Immediately ruined. So she takes him the cake and he's out on the dock. And then he's like, oh, is this your mom's cake? Because Harrison is also a baker. But, like you know, it's uncommon or, you know, unexpected, Not expected, yep. So he says, like this kind of comes back to I wear a lot of hats or, you know, I have a lot of things about me that you don't know. And so he asked her are you gonna go to the pub for that band? And she's like I don't know, would you come with me? And then he's, oh, I don't have any days off. And then she's like well, what if I asked Monica if you could have a day off?
Speaker 1:And he's like don't you dare.
Speaker 2:Yeah, literally, and he's like I'm not taking any time off, like nope, especially not for you. Yeah, and then da-da-da-da-da, or he says I think I would end up breaking your ex-boyfriend's nose, which I'm like I love you. And then she said she said you'd get in trouble for me. And he said I'd rather not. And I'm like, oh, kind of sounds like you would Okay. And then he shows up at her house and says that Eddie and Monica want to go out on a boat. Do you know anybody that has a boat?
Speaker 1:We have one. I forgot about this.
Speaker 2:It's gonna be flagged for paparazzi, essentially. And she's like oh yeah, I can ask you the police chief, I forgot what his name is burt, burt, of course. Uh, I can ask burt if he, if we can borrow his, and so but I was picturing charlie from twilight the entire time um.
Speaker 1:I was picturing.
Speaker 2:Charlie from Twilight. The entire time I was picturing like Ned Flanders. So she drives the boat and he's like, do you know what you're doing?
Speaker 2:And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, she ends up like flinging them back, yeah, but so she takes him like along the river and then there's like this beach spot and she's like let's stop here, stop here, you know it'll be great. And she finds out that Monica is pregnant, and so that's kind of why they want the privacy. Monica doesn't really want anybody to know yet, they just kind of want to enjoy that time.
Speaker 1:they wanted to have a secret together, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:But Monica is so excited that she finally gets to tell somebody and that's another big bonding moment.
Speaker 1:Like they're not just neighbors, they're becoming her friends, definitely yeah, especially monica like eddie's nice and stuff.
Speaker 2:But her and monica really start to develop a friendship. Then the paparazzi ends up showing up and she's like we better go. They get back in the boat, they go home they both had to get back in the back, sorry, um, so they end up going home and they just had a nice day, had a good bonding time, and harrison of course has to help piper out of the boat when they get to, you know, the beach, because you know why not?
Speaker 1:and of course he can pick her up with like his pinky and just kind of like slinger, if you want me like cannonballing into the water.
Speaker 2:What no, I'm good, I'm good, thanks. Then we have our costco trip. Fun facts who's used to work at costco and that's how I met my fiance.
Speaker 1:We both worked at costco together, so I was like oh, this is hilarious. You know, costco is a very deceivingly romantic place yeah, who'd have thought paper towels and industrial amounts of like trail mix could bring people together.
Speaker 2:I have this flag like specifically for you, because she's like you, gotta get a hot dog.
Speaker 1:A hot dog, I worked at costco for four years and I've never eaten from the food court. I have nothing against it either. Like, honestly, costco is one of the safest places if you're gonna get pre-prepared food. Like they go a little hardcore about things so I just never did because it's so busy at the costco. I worked at 772 fam, you're welcome, it's so busy, okay, like just quick drop, yeah. So anyway, I liked this part even more relatable.
Speaker 2:I was chuckling to myself thinking about like the costco, not dates yeah, that eric and I have been on yeah, but now it's just turned into like grocery shopping yeah, now it's just like oh god, there's another one of his co-workers and then, anytime you go, are you pregnant yet literally it happened three times while they were there last week.
Speaker 1:Yo, so when's the baby?
Speaker 2:I'm like guys, the wedding hasn't happened yet like give me a sec also, mind your business. Yep, that too I couldn't stand, baby. I'm like guys, the wedding hasn't happened yet. Like give me a sec also, mind your business.
Speaker 2:Yep, that too I couldn't stand that I almost like want to walk around with a beer in my hand in the warehouse just to be like attention, not pregnant I don't like this is kind of gonna go into a tangent, but like justin and I waited a while after we were married and it was like constant, when are you gonna have a baby? When are you gonna have a baby? And it was kind of like a sore subject, I guess you could say, and so like I would cry and it'd be a whole thing. And then it was just like non-stop. So if you're out there and you're asking people when they're gonna have a baby, maybe just mind your business, stfu, literally. Oh, my, like it was a whole thing. And now we have one and it's like okay, can you shut up? When's baby number two? When's?
Speaker 1:baby number two. When are you going to have another one? It's like okay, well, my tailbone just healed, and God forbid anyone admit that this child looks like their mother too. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:If you're someone out there and you see a woman that has had say it looks just like your husband, because, guess what? He did none of the work.
Speaker 1:Yep, I broke the tailbone, not him, for that fat head back in the boat.
Speaker 2:Oh, man, yeah, anywho, so just mind your business. In conclusion and people don't have to have kids also take into consideration what if they just don't want them? Maybe they don't want kids leave them alone.
Speaker 1:They can be the fun auntie and uncle, like no, it's not coded that I secretly don't want kids or Leave them alone. They can be the fun auntie and uncle, like no, it's not coded that I secretly don't want kids or anything, but just sometimes that's enough for people.
Speaker 2:It's fine, or they might just hate kids, and that's also fine. Yep, like, maybe don't say it to somebody who has kids or to us, but like, anyway Don't know how we got there.
Speaker 1:But moving on. So they go to Costco. So much business. Just like a Costco trip.
Speaker 2:You go in with a list and Costco decides what you need. That's exactly where we're going with that Yep. So they are going to Costco and she says, oh, I'll drive.
Speaker 1:And so he's like oh, my gosh and this freaking garbage pail you got which, why would you go to Costco in the smallest, like a smart car? What I'm picturing is that she drives Versus like an SUV?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally thought the same thing. I'm like you're a teacher, you're supposed to be smart, you're not going to have the trunk space. For what do you mean, costco? They got boxes. They give you. You don't even get bags. You get boxes. Your smart car, no, anyway. So while they're on the ferry, somebody recognizes her specifically, which is interesting because he's kind of like known for being like the super hot bodyguard, but they don't recognize him. They recognize her as the dog walker is what people think that she is, um, and he protects her in a way and kind of like blocks and threatens to throw the camera.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, threatens to throw it and he's like maybe I could just get a couple photos.
Speaker 1:And he's like no like get out of here, maybe you could get rekt. Yeah, they do the costco run. She tells him he has to get a hot dog and he's like you americans and your hot dogs.
Speaker 2:And she's like maybe you could get rekt. Yeah, they do the Costco run. She tells him he has to get a hot dog and he's like you Americans and your hot dogs. And she's like well, we're in Canada, pal so.
Speaker 1:And Actually she went eh.
Speaker 2:Sorry, yeah, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Is she from Canada? I mean she has to be right. No, she doesn't have to be.
Speaker 1:But I think, for the sake of the book, she is considered a Canadian. Sure Because, yeah, her mom moved from Victoria to this island because it was too busy. So, yes, she is.
Speaker 2:Oh, she gets all the samples in Costco.
Speaker 1:Which is easy to do, especially on a Saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the Kirkland bacon.
Speaker 2:It's so funny, it's really good. And so when they get back, he ends up getting her a bouquet of rose or not, roses, peonies which she doesn't know that they're for her, but he's like these are for you, um, it's a thank you for being so helpful. And she's like you know what would be more of a thank you for being so helpful, da-da-da-da. And she's like you know what would be more of a thank you? And he's like what? And she said, if you would go to me to the show on Friday? And he's like why would you want me to do that? And she said to show them all that I'm not afraid to go, because she's kind of lived in this recluse lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Not going to her favorite spots anymore. Not going, not enjoying where she lives, avoiding her ex yeah, and she says I'd feel safer with you there.
Speaker 2:And he says do you want me to go as a protection or as a friend? And she says as a friend and he says I'll see what I can do, and it's so cute. So then the next day or that friday, like she doesn't really hear from him, and then that friday monica shows up at the house and is like harrison kind of mentioned to me about the show and she's like, well, you know, if he doesn't want to go, he doesn't have to go at all.
Speaker 2:I don't even like care, it's fine, you know, like me, and she's like I think it'd be good for him. You know he's very dedicated to his job and he doesn't take any days off and there are other people that can kind of cover shifts, watch this, yeah, but he just is like so serious about it. So she's like I think it'd be good for him. And she's like okay, and Monica says what time should I have him here? And she's like I don't know half an hour, and what time should I have him here? And she's like I don't know half an hour. And she's like you got it. So then she panics like getting ready, which we've all been there.
Speaker 2:when you're suddenly like Half an hour. Well, I guess I get ready in a half an hour for work. But that's work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like half an hour while having to work through the anxiety, sweat, because that will like add 10, 20 minutes. You're getting ready and you're like you're sweating, and when you're in a hurry you suddenly forget how to do everything. You've never put eyeliner on. It's the freaking eyeliner every time. Sometimes I'll be like you know what? I want to have a good night, so I'm just gonna go with naked eyes and I just don't wear any, because I'm like it was a good day.
Speaker 2:Let's keep it that way yeah, or like you like put it your have your beauty blender and it starts coming off that.
Speaker 1:It sends me into no what's happening.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, gross.
Speaker 1:Or like the bathroom is just really hot because your flat iron is on or something, and you're just like or your fiance decides that right before you do your hair is when he wants to take a shower every time and I'm like, no, there's two bathrooms Not allowed Humidity.
Speaker 2:I have naturally curly hair Mine's. I'm trying to get ready and Justin just leaves Bash in the bathroom. Here you go, and then Bash sits there and is like wanting up and I'm like I can't really do, Not right now. Yeah, both of these things at once.
Speaker 1:Anywho. So she gets ready for her not date, it's not a date, that's what. I have it written down as the not date.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this is he shows up and he's like wearing jeans and a t-shirt and boots, and then she discovers he has all these tattoos and she tells him he looks like a douche, which I thought was pretty funny.
Speaker 1:It is kind of funny.
Speaker 2:And he's like okay, fair enough, alright. And so they go to the pub. And and he's like, okay, fair enough, all right. And so they go to the pub and he essentially asks her do you want me to like act like we're together? And she's like no, no, no, oh, no no, no, no, no no. And he's like good Because.
Speaker 1:I wasn't coming to.
Speaker 2:Well, I can't you know I'm noticeable in the press, like I can't you know I'm noticeable in the press Like I can't do that, which is like okay, Please.
Speaker 1:The hell, you can't.
Speaker 2:This is a running thing with him. Yeah, the press knows who I am Like. I can't get close to anybody.
Speaker 1:I'm like all right, captain, mysterious, that's like the oldest trick in the book. Be like I'm going to be elusive and I'm going like the oldest trick in the book. Be like I'm gonna be elusive and I'm gonna be like distant and difficult to get to know. I'm like, please, somebody hasn't been to therapy somebody else.
Speaker 2:Yep, go, no, not doing this. Um, and it's also like you, no offense, you are the protection officer for royal family, you think you're the one that the press is really gunning after.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:Let's be so for real right now.
Speaker 1:Step off the Clydesdale of a high horse here.
Speaker 2:Literally yeah. But he thinks like the press is going to know and then it's going to turn into this whole thing and whatever. So at the pub he gets smashed.
Speaker 1:Which is hysterical.
Speaker 2:He really does, and I think Amy is the waitress as well.
Speaker 1:Yes, it turns out that she works at like every single customer service place opportunity on this island.
Speaker 2:And she has just got her heart eyes on seeing Harrison and she's like what do you guys want to drink? But then she's also very rude to Piper, oh yeah, and she's like what do you guys want to drink? And he's like, well, a menu would be helpful for us.
Speaker 1:I just loved it when he just started getting her. I'm like finish her.
Speaker 2:We hate her. They end up going and sitting outside and she we hate her. They end up going and sitting outside and she can hear the band start to play and she's like I don't really care about the band, Like her main thing was she just wanted to go out and live like a normal person and she wanted to show him her ex so like she can go out and not have it be about him.
Speaker 1:So in her mind, on a night he's going to be performing, what would be a better night? To be around and not show up?
Speaker 2:yeah and it was kind of like sticking it to him, like I don't really care and, um, get him girl. When he comes out he says something like uh, oh, you didn't come watch my set. And she's like oh, didn't notice yeah, I loved that. I was like good job honey and then he makes a comment to her um about how she's like not memorable and like unimportant.
Speaker 1:It was like all wrapped up into one too.
Speaker 2:It was gnarly and it was like I knew you guys wouldn't be together. Because he's like, oh, what is this, you know? And he's like she's like we're just friends. And he's like, oh well, yeah, I knew you guys couldn't be together, or something like that. She's just a school teacher, no one important. And then Harrison is like well, why wouldn't we be a couple?
Speaker 1:Like hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, harrison's like actually she's my wife, just kidding, right?
Speaker 2:Oh, he said it, yeah. And he just says you know you're definitely out of her league, piper. Well, I don't think you'd be leaving him at the altar, like you did me, so that again comes back.
Speaker 1:The inner Aries in me would have been like so you're finally admitting that you're balding and ugly? Yeah, but she doesn't. She's still just nice and stunned.
Speaker 2:I'm like Well, she says well, you're the one who cheated on me, oh yeah she does. I didn't leave you at the altar, I called it off earlier. But you guys, you know just went through with it essentially.
Speaker 1:They usually want to be the victim in that situation. Yeah, they couldn't possibly want anyone to know that a woman chose to leave him.
Speaker 2:Like especially him.
Speaker 1:Do you know who he is, do you know who my family is and Do you know who he is?
Speaker 2:Do you know who my family is? And he's like yep, you keep telling people that no one in this town believes you, except maybe this guy, if he's dumber than he looks and that, just like set Harrison off, I'd have been in jail. Yeah, and he like grabbed. What did it say?
Speaker 1:He grabs his thumb and basically like squeezes the shit out of his hand.
Speaker 2:And he's like is this how you treat your customers? Yada, yada, yada apologize to piper, um, also, all of our stuff is going to be on you tonight. And he's like okay, and just kind of like walks away with his tail between his legs, which is pretty entertaining.
Speaker 2:Then harrison really started drinking heavily and yeah, that's when I knew this was like uh-oh sloshed like she has to like help him to the car and then he's like don't take me, uh up to the main house like I don't want them to see me like this and she's like okay, well, I guess I'll just take you to my house yeah and so she puts him in her bed, and then she goes and sleeps on the couch which I was just like oh my gosh, for real, there's only one bed, we all know that's how I knew this book was fictional also.
Speaker 2:You're sleeping on the couch, pal, that's my bed. Yeah, it's in the middle of the night and she wakes up and she hears like crying, which I thought yeah, a ch cry. But she knows it's not her mom and so she goes to the room and he's having the nightmare.
Speaker 1:Of course, but then also, like he's a massive man, don't accidentally like knock her out, Like uh-oh, stay away.
Speaker 2:She's like, hey, hey, you know it's me, you know you're having a nightmare. I'd have been like using a broom, like hey, just turned on the light, wake up, bitch. Hey, what are you doing? None of that, I'm so nice. And he's like, oh, okay, you know, so sorry, and he was having a nightmare. She says you want to talk about it and he says no and um, but then he says something like I'm not used to people taking care of me, thank you so much. Yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 1:And then there's like a moment and he grabs her face and oh, I was like on pins and needles here and I was like yes, yes, and then nothing happened and he left I better get going, yeah, and I was like, chain him to the bed and don't let him leave, like, okay, I got a little nastier than I meant.
Speaker 2:You're not going anywhere, sir they're like right here and he's like gotta go. Yeah, like the hell you are. And it's such like as a reader, you're just like hold on, hold on, and you're like god damn it, and then nothing. I hate that stuff.
Speaker 1:That stuff will piss me. It'll make me like if a book does it too many times, I'm like I won't finish you, I'll put you back on that shelf.
Speaker 2:I will because I'm waiting for the payoff I have like, but I also don't like it when it's too far in the book. So this is kind of my my inner thoughts here, especially when it comes to a romance book. When it comes to a romance book, by the middle of it I need something. I need some sort of payoff. I'll give you three-fourths. I'm not waiting till the end. You are out of your mind. I need a little bit more than that.
Speaker 1:So I usually give it about halfway you're patient, I give you to like page 100, like 85 pages.
Speaker 2:Let's go I give it 100 pages to get my attention. Okay, if I don't like it by 100 pages, I'm not gonna finish it, and I didn't used to be that way. And then I was like this is what am I even doing? Because I have one life to live like a month and a half to read one book, because I hate it when I can read a book in a day and enjoy it, you know. So I stopped doing that Handmaid's Tale. Have you ever read the Handmaid's Tale? No, hated the book.
Speaker 1:No way could I get through it.
Speaker 2:Loved the TV show. The TV show is probably one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. Hated the book Really so. Normal People, that book. There's no punctuation like quotation marks, none of that in it. So I've stopped in like the first or first or second chapter because I was like I'm not doing this. Yeah, it's your mind which people really love that book, so that's just my opinions we're here to just wreck shit that's just my thoughts.
Speaker 2:So after that, oh, her, her and her mom are out on the deck and they're talking and she very lightly mentions maybe her mom should go to therapy with her because she does therapy. And she says, you should come with me sometime. And this part like really broke my heart. I felt so bad for the mom and not, yeah, because she had mentioned doing so good I've been doing so good.
Speaker 2:I've been doing so good and I was like, oh yeah, she's like, why would you say that to me? And then she's like forget, I said anything. And then she's like I know she's not going to forget about it. But also at the mom.
Speaker 1:The mom was like just a second ago up her daughter's ass.
Speaker 2:Like you haven't been to a while, maybe you should go. And I'm like classic, classic, um. And then she's like I've been trying so hard, piper, I really have like, with them moving next door I've been on my best behavior, um, I've been so afraid of screwing everything up. You know, I want them to like me. I've been like I've been doing really good, like why would you say that? And then her mom like goes into this, like four day depression, essentially of like not coming out of her room and she won't talk to her.
Speaker 1:And classic, it's like a child and like nobody else gets to, though that's like another thing. I'm like, just because you're like a middle-aged woman doesn't mean you get to act like that. I have not as much empathy as I should. Yeah, clearly, yeah, clearly. I'm over here like nah, fuck her mom. And you're like, oh, I feel so bad for her and I'm like she needs to grow the fuck up and go to therapy, which is interesting because typically that's not how this goes typically you're very yep yeah I, uh, have a no patience type personality a lot of times, but this I mean, it's a book so I can say real life, get it together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I just felt, like the way that was written of like her mom being like what do you mean?
Speaker 1:like I've been doing so well, like that just kind of hurt and how fragile their relationship is, and just like how much Piper has to walk on eggshells because she can't even like mention to her mom that maybe she could come with her sometime and even try to phrase it like no, it's for me like I need you to come with me and like not having it yeah.
Speaker 2:So then monica invites piper to a girl's night and it's like on a boat, a yacht which can you imagine if megan margul texted you like hey, do you want to come hang? Out on my yacht. Is this the right number? Yeah, excuse me yeah, right suzy, I'm about to get murdered, something's happening. And so during girls' night they kind of talk about Piper and Harrison and she kind of puts the feelers out there, of like if Piper is interested in Harrison, and she's like, no, no, no, we're just friends.
Speaker 2:And she says good, good, because I don't want you two to be together, and and she says good, because I don't want you two to be together and I'm like not a girl's girl, it would be a disaster. Yeah, so rude yeah.
Speaker 1:I was starting to hate on her a little bit at that point. I was like what are you just like? What's your problem? Same?
Speaker 2:same and I didn't feel like this really got a proper explanation.
Speaker 1:No and especially because I'm a sucker for deep drama. I was like, oh my god, the duchess and harrison, and then it wasn't that deep, which also thank god but like so anyway, tea, yeah, um, yeah, that's not what happens at all.
Speaker 2:But then piper really starts second guessing, because she does have feelings for harrison at this point, or maybe not even feelings, but something's brewing, I guess you could say.
Speaker 1:And so she's like okay, like right then, yes, yeah, sure, I would never, which actually is a similar thing to my fiance and I when we were working in the same department. There had been lots of couples that were allowed to work in the same department. Yeah, and I shit you not. Our management actually came up to us and said, like you guys can't work together, and we were like what? And it was because a middle-aged woman that we were both friends with like complained about it, who worked with us and like started a whole thing. So then they had to put us on opposite shifts and it was just so like wait what?
Speaker 2:No, thanks. So Monica and Eddie's dryer breaks and it's like impossible apparently to get somebody to come and fix it. So she gets home and Harrison's like in the laundry room what are you doing here? Because he's been avoiding her like a plague.
Speaker 1:And they weren't. They weren't. This was after the night out After the not date. Yeah, this was the first time they were seeing each other again After the not date. Yeah, this was the first time they're seeing each other again.
Speaker 2:After the not kiss yeah.
Speaker 2:Really is what it is, and so he's avoiding her like the plague and she's like hey. And he's like, oh, great heavens, I'm so sorry the dryer broke. Your mom said I could use your guys' yada, yada. And she's like it's fine. And uh, then she's like can I, can I talk to you for a second, like privately, you know? So they go out into the dock. He like apologizes for what happened at the bar, because then a news story comes out also about him and the bar owner, and yada, yada, yada altercations and he got yeah, he like made a fool of himself and he was trying to apologize for that.
Speaker 2:And she's like what are you apologizing for? Like, really, it's okay, I don't really care.
Speaker 1:And I feel like this happens in every rom-com. Like this, though, where the mysterious bad boy that's secretly good always does one thing he's like. This is why I shouldn't have been with you. I'm going to stay away now because I'm a piece of trash. I shouldn't have been with you. I'm going to stay away now because I'm a piece of trash. And then he runs away and he's like because I don't want to be a coward.
Speaker 2:And then they act like a coward and I'm like You're the one that rated it five stars. I'm just kidding, calling me out. You clearly enjoyed it. No, I did. But there's like a point in this where she says like you're you and I'm me, and that's kind of it. And he's like what do you mean? And it turns into a whole thing of like oh my gosh, you've been with this guy who's just like made you feel worthless and you deserve so much more.
Speaker 1:You transfix me, is that? Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Speaker 2:And then she says is it like staring at an eclipse? Yeah, deflection, we love it. And he says look at me. And then he takes his shades off Page 212, look at me. It's 201.
Speaker 1:Your page numbers are off. Dyslexia coming through.
Speaker 2:We'll just it's 2-12 for sure, sue. And so he takes his glasses off, which is like a big thing, because he's always got his glasses on and any time it's off it just takes a breath away. It's so funny. And he says I think you're rare and a precious thing, like says just all these incredible things. She deserves so much more. You know his apology will never be enough and he's not good enough and she all the excuses and he says I don't know what to do about you.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? And then he says if I don't know what to do about you, what do you mean? And then he says if I was a lesser man, I'd kiss you right now. But no, no, no, here's the thing. Outside, you can totally say that While you're reading, you're like oh my gosh, yep, yep, yep. Oh my gosh, you don't understand if he was a lesser man. And he says if I was a lesser man, I'd lose control, yep, yep. Once you pull yourself out of it, it's like oh be, so fucking for real, come on.
Speaker 1:While you're reading, oh my gosh, yeah, two days ago.
Speaker 2:Stress. And then he says I like you a lot, but I can't do this, like I can't afford to feel these feelings for you, especially to you when it comes to you. And then she says, what if it's not up to you, doesn't, how I feel, make a difference?
Speaker 1:And he's like, no, like a typical man. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:No to you doesn't, how I feel, make a difference. And he's like no, like a typical man, I'm just kidding. He says it makes all the difference, piper, and that's why it's a problem. But like in real life, I think that's the funniest thing about romance books in real life. Get real. Yep, it makes all the difference. What does does that even mean? Like, can we just communicate? Can you be clear on what you mean? Elusive is out, clear communication is in, and then she doesn't see him for like two weeks and then when she does see him, she oh yeah.
Speaker 1:The laundry room. The laundry room. Sheesh, that's all I have for it, because spicy.
Speaker 2:So, like two weeks go by, it's a sweltering day.
Speaker 1:Like it always is.
Speaker 2:It's always like this in these movies.
Speaker 1:So hot.
Speaker 2:She goes to the laundry room to cool down and he's still there. Or he's there and she's like you're still here, and she essentially tells him to be a fucking man or something like that, and he's like, well, loses control. He loses control. He finally became a lesser man. Facts he kisses her. It turns into this whole Much more than that. Kisses her a lot. They make a mess.
Speaker 1:Yes, Good job. I was literally just going to say the royal towel for the readers. They would have loved that.
Speaker 2:Oh God, they clean it up with a royal towel and, uh, they're together at that point, yep.
Speaker 1:Basically Things you know happen in that laundry room.
Speaker 2:There's a do not disturb sign on that door and uh, he mans up that he does. And then they're like alright man, glad that happened. You know cool, I was waiting for them to're like all right man, glad that happened to you, you know cool that tension is real.
Speaker 1:I was waiting for them to like fist bump.
Speaker 2:Kind of it kind of gave that vibe of like, whew, I feel better, yeah, literally. And so then it becomes very uncertain on like, was that a one-time thing? Does he, you know, want to be with her, or is that kind of it Like it's very treading lightly, unsteady?
Speaker 1:feelings here she is on eggshells again, this poor girl. Everywhere she goes, she is walking on eggshells, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then he shows up. And what is she going to tell Monica? Well, she ain't.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:I mean she's like eh, eh, she wants her man. Okay, fair enough girl. And then Harrison shows up and he like secretly kind of gives her a kiss and like reassures her in a way on, like that wasn't just a one-time thing, like he really does.
Speaker 1:I wasn't just using you.
Speaker 2:He's unsure on how things are gonna go, but he does foresee something with her and he helps her mom with a pie crust, which I thought was so sweet because the mom's on, like this baking kick where she's like, wants to be a baker all of a sudden and he's relatable.
Speaker 1:My mom is has a lot of talents and she will randomly be like I'm gonna take up this one again and be like, okay, I'm gonna get back into this hobby and I'm like, okay, here we go, yeah, and then the fact that he just like extreme true, my mom, the pendulum, yeah, it's very extreme.
Speaker 1:and just to see him like just be so sweet with her mom, very, um, just personable. We were like ah, there, it is Okay. And I can only imagine her just melting, because I would be. Oh my goodness, the word duh. He's very patient Like.
Speaker 2:he entertains her a lot. He humors her. Yeah, and you start to see his shell right down here of like being a nice guy. And she says something of like I love how sweet you are with my mom, like how you treat my mom, which is important to her because she's been taking care of her this whole time. And then he shows up and says monica wants some books. Where do I go? How do I find that? She's like well, I have a perfect place to go but because he still doesn't know about her podcast.
Speaker 1:At this point nobody does it's an anonymous podcast. Secret romance podcast, which was so funny because I'm like that would be so kylie. That's so something kylie would do like if we weren't doing this.
Speaker 2:Yeah so they go and the bookshop lady is really mean and she's like, oh, what can I help you guys with? And she's like, oh, I'm just showing him, you know, your guys, this wonderful romance section, like wants her to expand on. And she's like, oh, I'm just showing him, you know, your guys' wonderful romance section, like wants her to expand on it. And she's like, I think you know we can find you something else or something to him. And he's like what do you know what I'm looking for? This is a quote. How do you know? I didn't find exactly what I'm looking for A riveting story about loss and love and pegging, and about loss and love and pegging. And I literally laughed out loud and then I said what?
Speaker 1:And then I needed to Urban Dictionary something.
Speaker 2:I didn't Google. I asked Justin what that meant. I said before I Google this, do you know what this means? And he's like why? And so I'm like I had to read it, no reason. He's like what are you reading? And so it's a really funny moment. I love that whole scene of them shopping for books.
Speaker 1:I really did too, because you really got to see that he is not a douche.
Speaker 2:No, and he has a lot of humor to him. It's just very I don't know British and dry. I don't know British and dry. Yeah, but also like it's a defensive like for her a lot of times of like pushing back against other people, whether it's Joey or the bookshop owner or Amy or whatever.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of that which I enjoy, and he kind of has no reason to and he still does, which is like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, he kind of does at this point. I mean, that's, they're kind of together, and then she goes home and her mom is like you know, I wouldn't mind if Harrison came around more often. Which is like a total 180 from before. She was like you need to stay away from him. I know that type Yada, yada, yada, and her mom is very critical about her dating life and her mom is critical of people with tattoos.
Speaker 2:Yep, doesn't like tattoos, but he's like. You know, they're from my past. I got them a long time ago. Yada, yada, yada. And she's like hmm, okay.
Speaker 1:Good enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but she says you know, I wouldn't mind if that Harrison guy came over more often.
Speaker 1:I thought it was funny when she asked her like are you on drugs again?
Speaker 2:like why are you?
Speaker 1:so happy what, yeah?
Speaker 2:and she says that man has your heart. Maybe it's time you admit it. If not to me, to yourself and then to him. And I was like she can see it. Mic drop, mama. No, no, no, no, not, not. What are you talking about? No, and then she's like kind of missing him and she's like, well, why do I have to wait for him to show up at my door? And so she goes and is like want to go to town. I hear you're going to the store or something like that. And he's like, okay, yeah, all right, they go. And they end up going to this like lake that.
Speaker 1:A reservoir.
Speaker 2:You're not really supposed to go to. There's like no trespassing signs.
Speaker 1:But in her defense, everyone else in town does this, yes, and we have areas like this in the town where we live and it's like that would so happen to us, like everybody goes there and does it and you don't get in trouble. The one time Kylie and I go to do something, that's when we'd get busted.
Speaker 2:It wasn't me, yeah, that wasn't me, that was patricia, literally, um. But so they go and she learns a little bit. Well, they go skinny dipping, really. Yep, she learns a little bit more about him. He was in the military. Something went wrong you don't really get much explanation here. Something went wrong, died, he had hurt his leg, and so he got discharged. And then Eddie, who was in the military with him, hired him on, you know, with him. So it really feels like he owes a lot to Eddie because it gave him purpose per se after the military. And they have this whole. You're messed up, I'm messed up. You know we can work through this. Yada, yada, yada, I can fix him.
Speaker 1:No really, I can Literally.
Speaker 2:Literally, and then they have a little, you know lakey time, and there's photos that are taken and leaked to TMZ which she doesn't know until. She's at dinner with Monica and Eddie and somebody had called the house the way my soul would have lived, my body I would have died.
Speaker 1:I would say move, but You're on an island, yeah, where are you going?
Speaker 2:to go. Yeah, so a reporter had called the house and asked the mom about information of Piper and the mom was like, oh, I told them all about your podcast. And da, da, da, da. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you did what, huh? And she's like Say it again, what? Like? The mom's just so oblivious and she's like panicking and she's like, well, why would somebody be asking about me? And Harrison is like I think I could tell you. And it turns out TMZ had done a spread about him, kind of, but she's named in it and so she's like panicking, she's freaking out. They're there with Monica and Eddie and she's like I don't know how to say this.
Speaker 1:And Monica's just like staring at her. She's not saying anything, she's not acting. Mad I'm like that's almost worse, terrifying, almost worse. And then Eddie goes well yeah he didn't care, he was like good for you, buddy, you owe me $20 or something like that. They had bet on it and then they happy for you and she's like you're not mad, yeah because you literally told me no, like like an older sister, you told me no and it's like oh, it was because you didn't want to lose a bet, are you okay?
Speaker 2:I like I said, there's not really an explanation as to why she actually said that to her yeah, it was one of the not my favorite parts.
Speaker 1:Not my favorite. No, like monica, I have nothing against her, she just wasn't my favorite character. Like she just wasn't my favorite, I think they could have done better, it's just not explained well.
Speaker 2:I don't think like her as an actual character is bad. It's just there should have been some sort of explanation as to why she thought that and why she said it to her, but then was also making a bet with her husband about them getting together or not and then being like we're so happy for you. It was very weird huh, what so? Uh, she's like okay, and they're like oh, happy yeah let's go outside have a toast.
Speaker 2:Everybody's like huh yeah, but then she gets an email saying she's under review from the school and she's like I'm gonna lose my job. Yeah, and she's like great cool, perfect, going to lose my job, yeah, and she's like great cool, perfect. And they have a moment of everything's going to be okay. You know, harrison is like, I'm here for you. He goes with her to the board meeting. And this is so like small town coded here. Like these ladies are clutching their pearls. Oh, how scandalous. Yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 1:I almost pictured, like some of others, a couple teachers that I was not a fan of, and I was like, yeah, that's you.
Speaker 2:That's you For real. But then Miss Gonzales would be there and be like actually her Georgia should marry Georgia. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:You can do whatever you like literally you're reading who cares?
Speaker 2:yeah, we love miss gonzalez and uh, so she goes to the meeting and she essentially says, as with the photos, I have a right to privacy and those were not. I did not give consent for those to be posted, so you can't say anything about those. Essentially, that's right. You can't, you can't see. Yeah, like those, that was a private moment that was not supposed to be public, and what I do in my private time is up to me. And they're also like whoa, you are doing this podcast and promoting pornography and it's like, let's be for real.
Speaker 1:Like come on yeah, and so you're reaching.
Speaker 2:This was, I think, probably my favorite part about the whole book because I feel so strongly about the romance stigma and I hate how it's so felt for girls. Like everybody for the most part knows that I really love to read, so I feel like anytime anybody reads anything, they're like guess what? I, I'm reading a book, you know and.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh my gosh, like I get very excited about it and I love. I love it in general, but I hate when people I've had this happen it's oh, they're just romance, I don't care. Like awesome, you got some recommendations Like I hate that, oh, it's just romance. You know it's not real reading Gag, I hate that, hate it, hate it, hate it. So she talks about this and how it's okay for me to like to read romance and I'm a woman and it's okay for me to talk about sex and has this like power moment which I'm like, oh, I feel it in my bones. It was a very like shut up boomer. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. I'm a firm, firm believer in you can read what you like. If that's romance, if it's sci-fi, if it's thriller, if it, whatever it may be, read it, and I don't give a shit what anybody else has to say and you don't give a shit what anybody else has to say and you don't have to.
Speaker 2:You heard it here first, folks. Well, you don't have to be like oh, I just read romance, Okay.
Speaker 1:You don't have to explain yourself what's it about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hate the yeah, Like it's not real reading. You know what you read the book you tell me Actually.
Speaker 1:How about you write a book that actually someone wants to publish? Yeah, Then come back.
Speaker 2:Reading is supposed to be enjoyable, and so if that's romance for you, absolutely Go for it, like you don't have to be reading whatever it is Self-help books or self-improvement books, yeah, if that's what you want to read, cool, but yeah don't make everybody else do it. Yes, and so this book was really big on that and I loved it. I was like eat for sure. The one person on the board was like you're absolutely right, You're, you're good to go.
Speaker 1:And they made her call her to tell her too. They made the prudy old lady call her back and tell her that you're completely in the right and we're sorry.
Speaker 2:And you're not gonna lose your job. Yeah, and I'm sorry this even happened. I'm sorry like we even had to do this because you are 100 right and her video goes viral. I assumed it was harrison who had recorded it but me too, but I guess it wasn't my assumption um, and it went viral on.
Speaker 1:Like teacher defends, you know private uh her right to privacy and just like yeah, defends herself in general and everybody was here for it yeah, and people loved it.
Speaker 2:And then, uh, her mom. So they decide that harrison is going to stay with her and is going to essentially retire from the protection officer position. Her mom has secretly been going to therapy and it's like you know, I have this dependent personality, but you know, you're kind of trying to keep me dependent because she feels like she can't leave her mom. But her mom all of a sudden is ready to have some independence, yeah, magically better and I'm like, hmm, but also has her new friend, bert.
Speaker 2:Yeah, her not-boyfriend, her not-boyfriend, they're just friends, yep, Bert, and so she's just magically doing better, which is good. I'm happy that happened, but you've been secretly going to therapy. I feel like this whole thing happened in maybe like a month and a half, or like it's over the summer, I guess. Yeah, so at most three months.
Speaker 1:Especially a PNW summer. We're talking like you get 60 days, literally, of actual summer, then it's late spring, mud season, summer, fall, winter, the way she described the thing about like, and then it's January, and I was like, bro, that ain't the real truth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but Harrison stays, monica and Eddie leave because they have to go back to have the baby. It has to be born there. And she is like what?
Speaker 2:I wonder who's gonna move into the house, you know now that they're gone, and he's like it's gonna be us someday and she's like I'm gonna teach your salary yeah, okay, yeah um, and then he wants to open a bakery, which is cute, and she ends up starting a romance book club at the local library and people love it and some of the people from the school board like end up joining, which is cool. And then we kind of have a flash forward two years later and Piper's mom and Bert are now dating and they live in a cottage together, not engaged, but they're dating.
Speaker 2:I thought that was an interesting thing. And Harrison and Piper have moved into the house and Monica and Eddie are coming to visit and Piper and Harrison are engaged. Yes, yay, and Harrison started doing TikTok baking videos and he also did a tell all about his life not necessarily the royal aspect of it, but his life, and so he made a lot of money and they could afford to buy that house.
Speaker 2:Thank god, they're happily ever after and everything is tied up in a nice bow and then Susie was like I love romance, yes she said I love this book, give me more. So this was very much nice happy end of story tied up in a nice bow, for sure. Very much um. So yeah, that was the royals next door fan cast time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, let's do fan cast so for my fan cast for this book I had for piper's mom. I had sally field. She's phenomenal. Like what's she from? Um, of course, now that I have to think of it couldn't fucking tell you, but almost everything. I've watched a ton of shows and movies with Sally. Field. She's perfect for that, Monica. I had Mrs Doubtfire.
Speaker 2:Forest Girl.
Speaker 1:Only the biggest movies ever. No big deal For Monica. I had Priyanka Chopra.
Speaker 2:Eddie, I had Jonathaniley from bridgerton. I love jonathan. I know it was suzy's gonna hurt bridgerton age.
Speaker 1:I, finally, I am, and I, oh, I love it. Uh, for piper I had sydney sweeney and for harrison I had Kevin Kreekman. Kevin Kreekman, yeah, excellent choice. I mean just not the beard, but Not who she was expecting Not at all. All right, Okay, Like damn girl, so that's my. And then for Liza, my dog, Bruce. For Bruce, Well, yeah, because Liza's a pit bull in the book. Oh, so that's the only reason I had Bruce Like very similar characters and like yeah, it was a silver pit bull in this book or something.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I was picturing like a yappy little dog, oh no, like a Yorkie or something.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I was picturing like a yappy little dog, oh no, Like a Yorkie or something. That's why you were like what I'm like huh, it's in the book.
Speaker 2:It's a pity. Yeah, I'm going to look up some names. Have you ever seen Endless Love? Nope, oh, it's so good. First of all, what's her name?
Speaker 1:Wait, is that the book? Is that the show movie, whatever that's based off books? That has the what's his name harden, something like that different.
Speaker 2:First of all, I know exactly. We're talking absolutely not, okay, sorry, that is uh, after oh, which, okay, here's some kylie lore. That was like the series that really got me back into reading. Oh, toxic, awful, wonderful at the same time, true. So, um, no, endless love came out in 2014. Yeah, and it has alex pedifer, gabrielle wilde, wildy, wild. It's kind of who I'm picturing for piper. Okay, kind of like this vibe yeah yeah where she's like.
Speaker 1:As usual, she knocks the fan, cast out of the park.
Speaker 2:She's very natural looking. She's got like long hair. Um, that's kind of who I'm picturing for her. That's kind of who I'm picturing for her, for Harrison, charlie Hunnam. Ah yes, I knew it. I knew you were going to pick him. I literally knew it, because, like I don't know, I can just picture it, it's perfect.
Speaker 1:He's just not saying he's short, he's just not super tall. So that's the only reason I chose someone a little bit taller, but yes, but he's got like the reason I chose someone a little bit taller, but yes, exact attitude, that vibe the personality the really troubled past loves his mom. Yeah, yes, um huge Sons of Anarchy fan over here, so oh my god.
Speaker 2:I sobbed. I cried so hard during Sons of Anarchy yes um, monica and Eddie are just for me. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, yeah, because I, because I couldn't get over it, and then for her mom. I'm thinking of something that's kind of a little deep in the crevices of my brain, okay, and I don't know what it's from, but it's this wacky old lady.
Speaker 1:Come on, little brain cell, we believe in you, I know, please.
Speaker 2:Just a kooky little old lady.
Speaker 1:I was like the lady from the magic school bus, like how crazy we go.
Speaker 2:She's got like craggly hair and I think she's a witch.
Speaker 1:I know what it is was she in the sherlock movies?
Speaker 2:no, you're like big boy, hold on we're turning on the witch lady, okay maybe not. This is getting better and better now that I'm pulling it up. Maybe not, but exactly exactly this is just my thoughts. Okay, have you ever seen the princess bride? The princess bride? Bride, yes, princess bride, oh god, no.
Speaker 1:The witch lady you know that movie, I watched it when I was little and it like messed me up a lot more than it should have it's so good, and then anyone that I've tried to be like. I watched that when I was probably a little young and it really like freaked me out, gave me nightmares and they were like they roast the shit out of me and they're like how could that movie bother you? And I'm like a guy got the life sucked out of him.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Uh, carol king is her name.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know who you're talking about so that would be.
Speaker 2:That's her mom. Okay, this photo of her in Princess Bride might not be very accurate, but like her in her normal okay. Normal Carol King is probably better. Yes, but I'm thinking of a scene during the Princess Bride for her. She's just like, yes, come. But I'm thinking of a scene during the Princess Bride. She's just like, yes, come. So, Best fan cast yet.
Speaker 1:I think we should always do our fan cast last second now it's almost better.
Speaker 2:Full disclosure. I didn't really think about it until Susie said hers and I was like, oh yes, oh shoot, of course we're doing that. But now that I'm thinking about it, the girl from Endless Love is pretty tall, and I don't think Charlie Hunnam is very tall.
Speaker 1:No, he's not, so maybe that not Meh.
Speaker 2:You know, it is what it is.
Speaker 1:Yep, it's okay, it doesn't have to. We get the idea.
Speaker 2:She can be taller than him. Yep, it's fine. Yep, all right. Well, that's another episode. That's it for episode four.
Speaker 1:Make sure you're liking sharing with your pretty pretty. Please subscribe please. I'm sorry to be begging and needy over here, but like two seconds. We would greatly appreciate it so much. There you go. You got it out of my cringed my way through it greatly appreciate it, psycho.
Speaker 2:You got it the other way, cringed my way through it. Greatly appreciated psycho. Alrighty, that'll be it from us.
Speaker 1:Yep, bye, until next time. Bye.
